May 2013
upgraders:
It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making
cybergay:
cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer
narfcesca:
animalsasleaders:
Fuck me hard and quote lord of the rings
geometricdeathtrap:
metallikato:
generallegendary:
metallikato:
jewelstaites:
how to give a good handjob
bop it
pull it
twist it
harder
better
faster
stronger
You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about!
Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
worldwar2chainz:
the CEO of abercrombie didn’t really do a good job at marketing to cool kids because i don’t really like their stuff
claydols:
my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change
royal-high:
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
interswagnet:
on our WWII quiz one of the questions was “how many estimated deaths came from World War II?” and i put “at least 12” and my teacher marked it correct
2 tags
alison brie in s04e13 is killing me
send help
sadillite:
all i do is sit around and eat and be sad im basically a more annoying version of a plant
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
thecalmwasdeceptive:
survivor-trek:
geekboots:
to meekly go where other people have already been
shy trek
into darkness (but with a night light)
poopflow:
ah yes i have finally found it
the g spot
epiicer:
If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife
pati79:
827125:
kawaiisquad:
What if all Batman villains were actually just Alfred dressed up trying to make Batman feel good about himself?
Now I’m confused about his relationship with Catwoman.
trillow:
“i need to get something off my chest” yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that